so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
