Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
