im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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