It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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