You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
