Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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