im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
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