the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
