i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
