You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
