Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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