we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
