eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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