the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
