i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
