I just pynch a tree in the face
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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