i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize