Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
