Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
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