Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
His nipple licking is glorious
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