I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
operation have a gay friend backfired
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
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