No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
They left me at home... I'm a liability
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
