youre lurking in front of me
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
It was a blind-side dick pic.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
