so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
