then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
