nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Randomize
