You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
