you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
