I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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