32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
