I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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