it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
