would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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