well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
