On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
