puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
