Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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