i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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