I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I have post one night stand depression
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
