I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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