i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Randomize
