my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
