Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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