you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Randomize
