No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
