I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
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