Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
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