is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
She even gives head with a lisp.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I want her autograph on my taint
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
