yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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