just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
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