How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
