What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
