Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
