And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Everything about him screamed your future.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
