God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
either way he was missing a nipple.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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