Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
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