fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Randomize
