Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
