I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
